*hugs* It's grand just to hear your voice. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having such a tough time and am touched and humbled that amidst the yeuch you should think of lists - although I can think of a time when RL was fairly grim and doing a small job, on something I cared about, gave me a lift and a lot of satisfaction. I hope that you will take the time for yourself and in the end decide to do what pleases you, knowing that the MOMEs have generated fun and occasional wonder and laughter and curiosity. thankyou.